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Geraldine's Adventures in Spain
or
How Reading Thumbelina Changed Geraldine's Life
Geraldine is feeling fed up. Despite living with Norman, and being anassistant to a famous fashion designer, something is wrong. "And not only with
Norman." She muses to herself recalling not for the first time with some distaste
the way he likes to waddle self righteously across the living room floor in a
manner she finds altogether disgusting. It is as if he wants to proclaim his
right to his puffed up importance simply because he is a doctor and a man.
Nevertheless she manages to spend a full four years with him (how can she not
love a Doctor and a Man when he says that he loves her?) until things get so
desperate, and she gets so ill, that late one night she is rushed to the
hospital. Coming round from the anesthetic after they took out her appendix, she
realizes again that she is not happy. She cannot help but wonder if her
experience with her appendix is her bodies way of telling her something is missing,
and not just the end of her intestine!
Whilst she is in hospital three things happen to change her life. She sees
Norman waddle and strut his way across her room for the umpteenth time, she
sees a documentary about Southern Spain, and finding nothing remotely appealing
to read in the hospital shop bar a modern rendition of a Hans Christian
Andersen fairy tale, she begins to read Thumbelina.
How Reading Thumbelina Changes Geraldine's Life
Thumbelina as you may recall is small. No bigger than a thumb, she was born
inside a flower at the request of a woman, who unable to have children of her
own, went to a wise woman who gave her a seed, and told her to plant and
nurture it and discover what would be revealed. Which the woman did, and Thumbelina
was born.
Geraldine reading this in the somewhat bemused vulnerable state that follows
an operation finds it inspiring. Here is a woman who not only feels that
something is missing, she does something about it. She listens to her feelings
and intuition as they show themselves to her in the form of the Old Wise Woman
and does what they tell her to do: to nourish and treasure the seed of what
her soul is calling out for. It changes her life of course, as such calls from
the heart are likely to do, which may be why we resist them. We may be
scared of the changes they bring. Geraldine however despite feeling scared feels
stimulated to action. She decides to leave Norman (even though he insists
he does not want her to, despite his frequent affairs with other women. "They
after all don't really mean anything do they?" ). Nevertheless she insists
she can no longer live with one who does not really love her, but only seems
to love the elegant frame she can provide thanks to her excellent decorative
skills and her contacts from her job. However after an initial elation in
association with holding her ground, she instantly feels bleak.
Thumbelina Dreams of a Prince and Geraldine Decides to Act Like One
Returning to Thumbelina in hope of inspiration she reads that though
Thumbelina is happy she is also lonely. Her mother is so big. Thumbelina is so
small. She finds herself totally taken by images of fairies in books. Here she
finds something that is more able to reflect her tiny yet powerfully magical
and sensitive nature, than her big plump Mum, whose love though essential, is
not quite enough.
Thumbelina is yearning. She yearns for her Prince to come and rescue her from
being so alone, Of course this is not simply a longing for the Prince to
come from outside and rescue her (even if she might think that it is) It is also
a deeper longing for this facility within herself. She longs perhaps for
some aspect of her own soul that has not yet shone through. She longs to have
wings and to fly like the fairies.....To be more than she already is. Something
is missing.
Feeling a kinship with Thumbelina Geraldine finds herself thinking. "Maybe
the life I have been living though good, is not good enough? Maybe my job
though successful does not reflect enough of my magical and sensitive nature?
Maybe I don't get to dance and dream quite enough" She muses still reeling from
the after effects of the anesthetic and pain killing drugs. "Perhaps it is
time to be vulnerable rather than strong? Perhaps working out every day day at
my health club in the city is not quite the same as walking by the sea?"
Geraldine is full of longing. The only thing is, she does not know what for.
Pondering these questions she falls into a doze. When she awakes she finds
herself remembering that documentary about Spain. During afternoon tea and well
beyond supper and far into the night she hovers in a dream state in which
images of sparkling blue sea, golden hills hugged by shiny white pueblos,
bedecked with a plethora of flowers, in which women in flamenco dresses drifting
by fountains flanked by dark, mysterious, wildly attractive men, keep coming
to her. Speckled between these delightful scenes comes, every now and then
unbidden, a miserable memory of Norman. He certainly has nothing dark nor
hauntingly mysterious about him for all his dark tailored suits, pristine white
shirts, hand made black shoes, and burgundy silk ties - his one dash of colour.
And so feeling suddenly and deeply stirred she does a radical thing. She
will not, like Thumbelina, wait for a Prince to come and do something for her.
She will do something herself. Certainly she will no longer live with Norman.
She will move to Southern Spain. She will rent an apartment somewhere lovely
by the sea, take some well earned rest and relaxation and then "Well who
knows...?" She muses to herself. She will however be sure to take Thumbelina.
Thumbelina and Geraldine Fall in Love
As soon as Geraldine is recovered enough from her operation she busies
herself removing every trace of her life from her former home, whilst contacting
rental agents in Spain. A monstrous thing to get everything organized and
packed down. A painful thing too as too many memories keep flooding in. She is
determined however. She will not be deterred.Yet every now and then plaguing
thoughts enter her mind " Am I really doing this ? Am I mad? Will I regret? "
Whenever the doubts come she plays Gypsy Kings music and browses in books
about Spain and let herself dream - just like Thumbelina - or she keeps herself
busy with endless tasks, until finally full of anticipation and some
trepidation Geraldine sets off.
The first weeks are lovely. Andalucia is gorgeous. The apartment is welcoming
and, well equipped. The only thing is the water supply keeps being turned
off, and every now and then the lights go off as well. Nevertheless, the breeze
is soft, the nights are warm, the moon is huge, and the air is full of the
sweetest perfume. It is heady stuff. And sensual too. Geraldine immediately goes
out and buys a new wardrobe. Gone are the broad shouldered power suits with
short narrow skirts and shoes with high heals. In their place come huge swirling
skirts with ballerina blouses, open sandals and the look of the Gypsy. As for
her hair, it is left to flow free without lacquer. Those stiff little wisps
that had taken for ever to do with the hot tongs so as to frame her face to
perfection, that made her feel in control, soon were replaced by soft bouncy
tendrils that made her feel free.
Geraldine those first few weeks was in love. She loved that all businesses
and shops closed between 2 - 5 for siesta. She loved that here at last was time
to be, and since she had nothing to do anyway she did not mind - yet - if
things were frequently unpredictable or delayed, if saying"si" was really a way
of being friendly rather than an agreement to do something, and "manana" was
a way of saying " Not now. If it really proves essential, some time later -
maybe - we'll have to see."
Sitting on her balcony looking out over the ocean as the sun set beyond
purple hills slightly shrouded in mist, with a tall glass of sangria in her hand
and her skirts whirled about her, she feels inspired and for the first time in
ages returns to Thumbelina
Thumbelina if you remember is longing for her Prince. One night he comes.
Flying by her window on his way to a ball, the Fairy Prince sees Thumbelina and
finds her the most beautiful and alluring being, he ever has seen. He cannot
resist the call of her beauty. She seems so spontaneous and vulnerable yet so
deliciously alive. And so he comes. In the night of course. The seeds of the
most precious things are often found in the dark. Just as the wonder of
life is first conceived and nurtured in that dark secret womb place, so too
many wonderful treasures of soul are first conceived found and nurtured in the
dark secret places of the night, or the times when we disengage from the
everyday demands of the world about us.
These are the dream times, of drifting, of reaching in. These are the times
when by choice or force of illness or grief the unconscious roams free, to
sort its self out. To reorganize and heal. Times in which we cannot do but
only be. Though not always pleasant these times are essential. To deny the need
for them is to deny something precious about ourselves. Equally, without the
willingness to enter our grief in a deep loving respectful way, we can never be
healed. Without mourning our losses we can never fully regain our joy,
So the Fairy Prince comes in the night, at a time in which Thumbelina, like
Geraldine as she sits on her balcony with the misting hills behind her and
the darkening sea before her, can afford to let herself see with the soft un-
focused eye of intuition and feeling rather than with the sharp focussed eye
of thinking and percieving. And he serenades Thumbelina.
Thumbelina's Prince Returns Home and Geraldine Begins to Feel Restless
" Let me be your wings" he sings. How can she refuse? Climbing upon his back
she flies away with him for a wondrous night, Thumbelina and her Prince
however are not really ready for one another yet and so after a magical night he
takes her home and goes back to his parents. The beauty of love has been tasted
for a moment It will change Thumbelina's life as such moments do. And it
has been but a glimpse of what really can be. Thumbelina and her Fairy Prince
must both mature and come more into their own, before they, can come together
in a way that is true. In Thumbelina the fairy Prince must learn more about
honouring and following feelings and his own vulnerable childlike place. and
Thumbelina must learn more about the true strength of her feelings and her
ability to express and take action on her own behalf. Just perhaps as Geraldine
must, even though she does not yet know it.
Moving from one land to another is not simply to take a sweet sojourn in
some promising new place. It is also to travel down many long and often
unfamiliar avenues as practical adaptations to new environments, languages,
temperaments and ways of life are learned and understood. To move from ones country of
origin can be a gift, yet it is frequently not without its cost. And
changing the outer environment can sometimes also push us- into new inner
environments well as the world of feelings, emotions, ideas ,creative expression, love
and identity come up for question and possible review. So it is not always
easy. And it does not remain simple for Geraldine either.
Before too long she begins to feel bored. Suddenly the wonders of Spain no
longer seem quite so delightful. "Perhaps?" She wonders "It is time to go home?
There have been too many nights alone on the balcony recently" She reflects
to herself. "Too many sangrias. Too many conversations in bars with
indifferent people about indifferent things. Too many struggles trying to make myself
understood in Spanish. Too many endless hours waiting in line at the post office
and the bank. Too many days which have melted into each other with my
feeling lethargic and sad, spattered with nights of revelry which though exciting
do not make me happy. Like fizz on coca cola" Is her thought "Too much froth
and too little substance. Where is the meaning? "
And so she books a flight to return home for two weeks. But when she is there
she is not happy. Something has changed. Either she or her friends are not
quite the same. She no longer quite seems to fit. Their concerns no longer are
hers. A mournful moment this, in which she decides she better to back to
Spain. Her adventure there, is not yet complete, any more than is Thumbelina's. So
after only one week away she decides to go back. Several weeks after this not
knowing why, she wanders into a furniture store just to look around.
Thumbelina is Kidnapped and Geraldine Gets a Job
Falling into conversation with the proprietor an exceedingly dark mysterious
man by the name of Alfonso her innate design capabilities suddenly come to
light. When she spontaneously rearranges some cushions on a sofa Alfonso
gleans in a minute that here is a woman of gift and skill. When both sofa and
cushions are instantly sold, he promptly offers her a job. Which after a good meal
with fine wine Geraldine accepts. She is restless and bored after all. This
might be just what she needs? Soon she is busy beyond belief. So busy in fact
that when the Feria comes - the time for celebrating dance and good cheer when
every business closes at noon for a whole week so people can have time for
flamenco she does not even go. She finds it annoying. She has to work.
Geraldine is at first quite taken by the job She does very well. Encouraged
by Alfonso she starts to design her own cushions to coordinate in unique and
startling ways with his chairs, beds and sofas. His furniture (thanks to her
artistry) soon becomes like works of art. To own furniture from Alfonso's
becomes quite the thing. And he is so skilled He knows who to contact, and
how. when and where.. He knows how to charm, wheedle and cajole. O yes he knows
these things. He is good at them too. And he thinks Geraldine's work is just
fabulous. "There is nothing like it." He announces proudly one day as if he
has made all the cushions himself!
Left to her own devices Geraldine would not have gotten so far. No doubt
about it Alfonso is a boon. And yet......Something is wrong! She is not happy.
Something is missing! She is crotchety and cross.There is no time for loitering
on the terrace these days. Siesta time is no longer for her. When the store
closes she has to work on her designs. True she is very well paid, and now has a
wardrobe full of well cut suits with wide lapels, big buttons and braiding.
The skirts though short are not quite a narrow as they were before, and her hair
is still flowing freely. Nevertheless, the more she gets to know Alfonso the
more she realizes there is something manipulative and sneaky about him for all
his sauve ways. Not only that. he envies her and her success and calls it
love. O yes indeed. He wants to marry her! And keep her for himself. Feeling
flattered yet somehow oddly depressed Geraldine ponders her lot and turns yet
again to Thumbelina only to find Thumbelina has been kidnapped.
Thumbelina is Cajoled and Geraldine is Beguiled
Thumbelina like Geraldine is gifted. Thumbelina can sing. She has a
beautiful voice Others will attempt to make use it, to serve themselves. She is to be
used against herself to fulfill the needs of others - a theme to be
encountered many times in this story - perhaps because as a phenomenon it is quite
common. And it is abusive even when it is subtly done. Because it maims. It ruins
the ability to recognize and trust ones own soul. It destroys all that is
vulnerable, open, tender and soft and asks that we harden, or numb, or get spiky
and attackful in self defence.
Thumbelina as we have heard has been kidnapped. The toad and his mother have
taken her, enticed her to stay with promises of fame, fortune and love if
only she will sing. And sing she does - she loves singing you see. And famous
she becomes. Yet she is sad. The love she has yearned for is not to be found
here despite all the toads promise. Though she is tempted by glory that being
with the toads can bring her, she is to find that they of themselves cannot
replace that sense of real joy that can come when success is achieved through
being and doing what she loves, rather than from what others expect her to be.
Love is important, implying as it does a safe attractive dependability. Love of
this kind is not dangerous. It does not damage or thwart. To follow it brings
with it its own set of challenges it is true, as it asks that we let go of
that which is not in support of that love, . So it may not always be easy, but
it can be golden.
But love is not what is going on here. Thumbelina is cajoled. However her
yearning for love is leading her to discover all that exists within her that
could get in the way of her realizing her love. Certainly she is struggling with
the toads. Just as Geraldine is struggling with Alfonso.
What is going on? Is she finding that aspects of her personality that are
based on learning what others want her to be rather than the simple recognition
of what she is are making choices for her? Does Thumbalina see something in
the toad and his mother that reminds her of something she once saw in her own
mother and so she mistakenly sees them as offering love?
Are the toad and his mother attractive because they seem to be offering her
the possibility of expressing herself and being recognized in ways she has not
been before? They want her to sing and be famous after all, only trouble is
they want it because it will serve them. They do not care what the cost to poor
Thumbelina. They are not in love with her voice or even with her but with
the fruits she and it can bring them, They are not finding and connecting with
their own inner gifts, they are trying to use Thumbelina's instead.
Yet for a moment Thumbelina just like Geraldine is attracted and beguiled
before realization happens as to their real motivation - their real abuse. Is
she beguiled for in their presence and with their aid she experiences some
very high times, She has experienced moments in which her true potential - her
voice and her song - just like Geraldines exquisite cushion designs - have
shone through. But O at such a cost. The cost is every other aspect of her
soul.It is the destruction of her body and being. This relationship is like a drug
and Thumbelina for a moment might be addicted to the high of the possibility
of singing. Yet it is only an momentary high it is not the result of an
integrated life that is true in which her singing can be as well as the rest of her
soul. Her singing for the Toads becomes her only salvation - a way to escape
the bad feelings of a life that otherwise is abusive to her. So of course she
wants to sing. And Geraldine wants to sow cushions and never stop working even
for Feria
Thumbelina and Geraldine Are Sad
So Thumbelina like Geraldine is sad. Her very being is being eaten up by
the insatiable voracity of the toad and his mother. And she is letting them
eat her. When someone is not connected to their own soul but is rather feeding
on the soul of someone else, the hunger for nourishment is endless and can
never be satisfied. Why? Because the food being eaten is the wrong food. It
does not nourish. So the toad and his mother keep on wanting to eat Thumbelina
up. As for Thumbelina she does not know what else to do other than let them.
She is lucky however, because deep down she knows that this situation is
abusive. That it is not right. Once she recognizes the gift of her own true
voice - she never really sang much before her encounter with the toads- and
realizes the terrible cost of only following the need of that part of the
personality to express itself at the cost of every other - she is able to flee from
the toads dark embrace. With the help of the fish - symbol here of deep
feeling and intuition - she is able to escape the toad and his mum and take with
her the gift of her singing. The trick is of course to be able to leave once
the gift of learning has been received As well as of course to learn not to fall
into such situations again. Which we likely will not if we really have
learned. Which apparently Thumbelina has not yet fully. Neither apparently had
Geraldine.
Thumbelina Pretends to be a Beetle and Geraldine is Betrayed
Geraldine recognizing part of her story in Thumbelina decides to leave
Alfonso and his glamourous store and take her cushions with her. All does not go
well however for she runs into a rather thin dark artist from England. He is
into black and grey. "Her cushions would be so much more attractive." he says
"If only she would leave all their vibrant colours behind. Colours by the way
which are altogether too overwhelming. How can anyone be at peace flaunting
colours like that?" he asks her. And Geraldine feeling vulnerable and certainly
not at peace with herself agrees.
All her cushions now are black, white, and grey with the odd stroke of
burgundy to give them colour. They are selling quite well at markets and fairs.
Geraldine's black period is becoming renowned to a certain arty crowd. The
English artist has become her lover. She has moved in to his flat. They drink
vino tinto and eat plenty of olives and bread dipped in olive oil. All should be
well, and yet....When she looks out of the window with the sun going down
she sees not a thing but the impending black sky.Something is missing!!!! And
her copy of Thumbelina has been left behind in her rental. Who would have
though she would have needed it here?
One day when her lover is away Geraldine finds herself making the most gaudy
outrageous cushions she has ever designed. When the English artist comes home
he is inflamed.This is betrayal. He can not bear to be near her. Not whilst
she has her cushions draped all about filling his flat with such blatant
vivacity. She must remove them before any one sees them. Taken aback she begins
to remove them one by one when suddenly the thought comes that she will not.
She will take her cushions - the new vibrant ones and return to her flat.
Once the hauteur of the moment is over, Geraldine finds herself alone and
bemused. Once in her own apartment, she turns on the light, covers the sofa
with her colourful cushions, flops down on top of them and returns to Thumbelina
. What else can she do?
After leaving the toads Thumbelina encounters a beetle who wants to make her
more attractive to him by making her more like him and turning her into a
beetle. Such a painful thing this to be loved for what we are not. To be loved
for what someone thinks we should be rather than for what we are. O the beetle
loves her voice and the accolades he might achieve from being associated with
her. But he does not love her. Any more that he loves him self., Probably we
only need to own and manipulate others in such a beetly way if we feel as if
something is missing inside us that we imagine we can only gain from someone
else. Probably all the beetle really wants is an accurate mirror for his own
soul. An accurate mirror which essentially we are all going to have to find
for ourselves inside ourselves. It cannot be gotten by trying to force someone
else into being a reflection, and it can only be found with the beloved when
he or she is a natural mirror, simply by being who he or she is.
Evidently neither the Beetle nor Thumbelina quite know this, for he dresses
her up in a beetle costume, and Thumbelina lets him. It provides after all a
chance for her to sing and a chance perhaps for her to be loved? Now she looks
like a beetle, love and recognition are flowing towards her . But is it the
love that she wants? Are black and white cushions and a thin English artist the
loves of Geraldine's life? And were they ever?
When Thumbelina's costume accidentally falls off and her real self peaks
through no body likes her. Here a thing of real sadness is revealed.When her
own naked and vulnerable self shows its face it is not received. It is called
ugly. Such a soul murdering this. It does not take much to wound that that
tender, open, vulnerable place inside us, but the cost in terms of the walls and
blockades we create about ourselves in self defence, and then try to relate
by can be tremendous. They can quite literally cost us our lives.
Clearly Thumbelina is not in a context that is nourishing or beneficial for
her soul. She is caste out by the beetles, which is painful yes.. As such
refusals are. But in its way it is beneficial For this turning away is an
indication that this is no real place for Thumbelina to linger or be. Happily for
Thumbelina she does not remain victim to a fate that does not reflect or
allow her own good to shine through. She like Geraldine leaves the beetle behind.
Thumbelina is Lost and Geraldine is Lonely
Geraldine may unwittingly be taking steps on her own behalf, yet she is
lonely. and lost. Reward is not instant. Just like Thumbelina she does not know
where to go, for all the many coloured cushions now lying helter-skelter all
about her flat. Life alone in an apartment in Spain for all its beauty is not
enough. Nothing is ever enough if one is not well connected to ones own soul,
ones creativity, and ones own inner life. Geraldine is feeling abandoned and
gloomy . Understandably too she has been abandoned just as she has abandoned
her self and her real feelings so many times before. Here she is in this place
wither she came to find her own life and have a good time and she is
miserable.
"If only it would rain!" she thinks to herself. "A person gets depressed
when faced with too much sun! "Not knowing what else to do she closes the
curtains and takes to her bed with Thumbelina and begins to read on...
Thumbelina having left the beetle is traipsing about feeling lonely and
lost. She cannot find her fairy Prince. , and he though he is searching for her,
cannot find her either. Indeed as part of his quest, he has fallen into a river
- fallen into his emotions and feelings perhaps - into the depth of his pain
and despair at being unable to find Thumbelina or his own inner magic and
life. Before he can get out of the the river, it freezes over. The Fairy Prince
is encapsulated in ice. He is at a stand still, Just like Geraldine. She too
is unable to do any thing on her own behalf, all she can do is be. In a
particular way however, as she just like Thumbelina continues her quest for the
beloved and a way of being that is simply a full recognition of her own
soul.
Winter is upon us. The dark time is here, and the Prince is still, Thumbelina
is busy. So is Geraldine with her inner life. Lost and alone Thumbelina
travels the cold snow covered lands, till finally she comes upon a mouse who offers
her shelter in her underground home where she introduces her to a mole. It
is time to go down. This is not the time for outward expression. This is the
time for inward realization. Hopefully!Anyway down Thumbelina goes
and Geraldine depressed and alone in her bed with
the curtains still closed goes with her.
Thumbelina goes Down and Geraldine is Depressed
Thumbelina is in the tunnels of the mouse and the mole - tunnels of the old
matriarch and patriarch perhaps of the kind who are sourced in their ability to
have power over others, rather than sourced in a sound and happy connection
and integrity within themselves. The ones who would have her observant to their
rules and needs at a cost to her own. They are the archetypical epitome of
all the men and women Thumbelina has ever been abused or abandoned by. They are
the epitome of every way she has every hurt herself.
O they will offer Thumbelina shelter and protection of a kind, but O such a
cost. Never again to see the light of day. Never to follow or be what she
loves or is. The safety they offer is not the kind of safety in which soul can
come forward., It is the gnarling stunting kind of safety that is not really
safety at all because it is more like a prison or a trap than a real home. So
the mole and the mouse are dangerous ones who would use and usurp, even though
they may at first seem to be helpful. Better watch out if a mole and a mouse
are about! Better be careful about accepting their gifts, be alert to the
costs, even if they may for a moment seem to serve us well and we choose to
accept them.
The Mole is rich in worldly goods but poor of spirt. He sensing something of
that which he lacks in Thumbelina wants her for a wife. And Thumbelina not
knowing what else to do, feeling lost and forlorn in these deep and dark places
seeing no way out at all, is about to accept him.
Thumbelina Finds a Friend and Geraldine Finds Herself
"No !" Geraldine cries with tears on her face. All these tears falling
down surrounding her now in a lake of wet Kleenex. "No Thumbalina! you must not
accept him! He does not love you! You do not love him! Don't you know that?
If you accept him you will never get out. You will be stuck in those tunnels
like me if you do not say "No" No! Geraldine finds herself yelling there in her
bed at all the men who never really loved her that she nevertheless said yes
to. "No" she cries at all the women she ever let abuse her however subtly. .
" No She cries at all her moments of self abuse in which she did not know any
better. Or did not know that she had a choice.
Geraldine is grieving all the many moments she had not felt herself.
Meanwhile Thumbelina down there in the tunnels despite the darkness is not alone A
swallow is there to come to to her aid. An unlikely place to find a swallow. Yet
there he is. He has been wounded in flight and fallen by accident into the
moles tunnels.He has been Thumbelina's friend all along. He is perhaps in our
tale a representation of the wise one inside. The one who combines intuition
with insight knowing and know-how. Or perhaps he represents a kind of inner
father energy or authority - the father that would nurture guide and protect his
young in a way that would encourage the unique gift that they are to shine
though and be fulfilled. Or perhaps he is a secret messenger from the
unconscious whose whispers will come out to guide us at times when we will listen and
at times even when we will not! Or perhaps he represents one - a friend, or a
therapist or support group perhaps, who would simply hold and contain us, and
reflect us to us, when we need to go down if we are not able to contain and
reflect ourselves
Thumbelina says "No" and Geraldine says "Alright!"
What ever the case the Swallow is here. He is one who constantly encourages
Thumbelina to "follow her heart" And he is the one to help Thumbelina now. .
When she comes across him lying wounded, she nurses him back to health. As
she does, something essential inside her is restored. Her self esteem and
respect perhaps? Or her ability to recognize her heart and what it is that she
loves? Or her ability to take action on her own behalf? Her connection to her own
inner male? Her willingness to nourish and nurture her unique inner wisdom?
Whatever it is it is, something is restored that will help her say "no" to the
Mole at the last minuet, as she stands at the alter and is about to be wed.
"Alright! "exclaims Geraldine whose now has stopped crying and is feeling
energized for the first time in days. Something is up. Though vulnerable and
shaky from all the grieving of what she thought she had lost, something precious
has also been found. She feels soft gentle, unabusing and alive. Sensitive
yet spontaneous there is a childlike glow of aliveness to her that feels quite
attractive. Her feelings and her sense of her self have been restored. Not
for ever perhaps for certainly for now.
As Thumbelina nursed the Swallow and came to her "no-ing" something happened
to the fairy Prince. As she became more attuned not only to her real feelings
but also her ability to act soundly in accord with them, the fairy Prince in
his block of ice is defrosted and restored. A cluster of fragile bewinged
ones see him in the ice and come to his rescue by thawing the ice with their
breath.
What are these creatures? How could they do this? Well lets think for a
moment. They are tiny - like tiny children. They are creative and open willing to
follow their heart and believe that anything might be possible. Including
freeing the Prince from the hold of the ice. Could it be they are a representation
all that is childlike in its authenticity uniqueness vulnerability and
liveliness in us? Could it be that this childlike place inside, is the part of the
us that can cut through the ice and release us again to be free to live our
lives as an authentic expression of who we are? That this is the part of us
that we must find and connect with, to find and connect with our own essential
integrity? Can it be that with out a connection to that vulnerable yet very
alive place inside our experience of living is always in some strange way
frozen or false because something that is precious is missing or being denied?
Thumbelina Says Yes and Geraldine Feels Inspired
What ever the case by now in our story the Fairy Prince and Thumbelina are
on their way towards one another.Their main work is done. Soul is attuned to
and turned towards its fulfillment. And so Thumbelina and the Prince come
together and marry, Before they do however Thumbelina is to sing at the fairy
Prince's behest - and summon the fairies. Now Thumbelina can sing and not
have the voice cost her any other part of her being. Now she can sing in the
presence of one who truly loves and honours her. Now she can sing on behalf of
herself the magic of the fairies - that inner childlike place again - can come
and give her wings. She and the fairy Prince are equals. And so the two can
be wed and in true fairy tale fashion and live "happily together for ever
after"
Geraldine sitting on her balcony sipping tea as she comes to the end of
Thumbelina feels inspired. Closing the book she looks about her and sees that it
has been raining and that there is a great rainbow stretching its way across
the sea and up into the hills. The colours are breathtaking and Geraldine knows
exactly what she will do. She will design a cushion, she will do it right
away. It will be like a rainbow with the sea and the mountains about it. It will
be about living. This will be her work. Making cushions that reflect life
about her. She will look for a small finca up in the hills and turn it into a
studio and from now on she will do what she loves because she loves to. She will
not return to the city. The life she sees there is not the life that she loves
so she cannot make cushions that reflect her soul there.
Thumbelina and Geraldine Live Happily Ever After?
True this path will not be easy but at least her soul will be in tact. And
should it ever be ripped she will take the necessary steps to repair it. Life
will not be without ups and downs but it will at least be her own. This is
the promise she makes to herself the day that she reads Thumbelina and her
Prince at last are to be wed. And this is the promise she has kept for over a
year now, and so far she has found it to be rewarding if somewhat daunting.
Finding a finca turned out not to be easy. At last she found a small house on
the outskirts of town. the renovating of which is still not complete and
could be a whole other story in and of itself. Yet when her former boss from the
days she had been with Norman got in contact and asked her to come back and
work for him as a designer - a friend had given him one of her cushions -
she spent a terrible few days thinking that she might. It was so tempting, and
flattering too. But though she booked her ticket when it came time to leave
for the plane she just could not get herself to do it. So she said "no."
She did however enter a deal that he could sell her cushions whenever she
made them. Sometimes there were many when she was feeling prolific. Sometimes
there were no cushions at all when some other part of her heart needed
attention. But this was the deal that she had made with herself. And this is the deal
that she kept. Thumbelina meanwhile sits on the bookshelf and is no longer
read. True, Geraldine did make a whole series of cushions inspired by her
imagery that no one wanted. She was secretly pleased.She wanted them herself.
There is however a fat book of fairy tales awaiting her attention. Every now and
then she squints at it. One day she knows she will read one. She just does
not know which, and she does not know when.......
Written by Nanna Aida Svendsen © after being inspired by the movie Thumbelina
by Don Bluth, based on the HC Andersen fairytale of the same name.
www.pleasanthouse.com